How to Stop an Anxious Thought Spiral
Let’s have a look at a classic thought spiral.
Imagine with me that you’re at home on a Wednesday night:
You are getting yourself something to eat and notice the rain outside is picking up. You glance at your phone: your partner hasn’t texted you in a while and they’re usually home from work by now. “Why have they not texted me back? That was over 2 hours ago. It’s raining so hard out there, they’re probably delayed because the roads are bad” Images of cars swerving and metal crashing flash through your mind. You call and there’s no answer. “They could’ve gotten in an accident. Why didn’t they answer? They could have been taken to a hospital already; how will the medical staff know to get a hold of me? I won’t know which hospital. What if they’ve been killed? I won’t be able to cope, I’ll be devastated, I won’t be able to live here anymore, I can’t afford this place by myself, I’ll be devastated and homeless.” Adrenaline is rushing though your body now. You’re shaking and have completely lost your appetite. Suddenly you hear the door open and you hear your partner cheerfully exclaim “Hey! Sorry, if you tried to reach me, I left my phone at the office. How was your day?”
This, dear reader, is an unchecked, feels-completely-real-in-the-moment, utterly terrifying thought spiral.
Cortex based anxiety: Anxious Thoughts
There are different ways anxiety gets triggered in the brain and body. One pathway is through thinking and ruminating. These thoughts originate in the cortex and trigger the amygdala, which alerts the rest of the body’s system that there is danger. This will mobilize the body to prepare for survival, hence the shaking, the lost appetite, the rapid heartbeat, etc. These thoughts can be very vivid, imaginative and persistent.
The Story Feels Real: Cognitive Fusion
While we’re deep in these kinds of thoughts, the narrative we tell ourselves gets accepted as fact and we begin to live in that reality in our imagination. This is called cognitive fusion. It’s as though we’re one with the thoughts. If you’re a very visual/creative person or someone with a good memory, your anxiety probably has lots of material it likes to use to construct extremely realistic and terrifying scenarios. When we are fused with our anxious thoughts, It feels very real, but please know this: Feeling real does not mean it is real.
Disrupting the Thoughts: Cognitive Diffusion
There are many possible reasons for these thoughts. We usually do it, at least in part, because we believe there is some kind of benefit or advantage to it. It could be that we have developed rigid beliefs like “the only way to stay safe is to predict the unpredictable”, or we feel that replaying worst case scenarios in our heads helps us to be prepared for catastrophe. The first step, before we talk about disrupting the thought spiral is to examine the beliefs behind your anxiety narratives. You may be less motivated disrupt these kinds of thoughts if you still believe they are necessary. Ask yourself- does ruminating on worst case scenario truly help me? Will it make the worst case scenario any less painful?
Next time you notice you have been triggered and your anxiety script pops up, try these techniques:
Simply notice and become aware of the story. Even say to yourself “Oh, that’s my anxiety script” This simple step takes you out of the role of character and into the role of observer. When you’re not the character in the story, the story has less power over you.
Give it a specific window in which you will give it your attention. Tell it, “I’ll come back to you at 3pm and give you 15 minutes of my full attention”. Be sure to have a ritual to open and close the 15 minutes so the thinking stays contained within that time frame. If it creeps up again, catch it and remind it of the next available time.
Practice grounding techniques to bring you back into the here and now, such as the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Name 5 things you can see around you, 4 things you can feel/touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste.
I want to share with you a short workbook I created to help people practice Thought Diffusion, so you can begin to take yourself out of your anxiety story:
If you want more tools for managing difficult emotions for yourself or with your clients, check out my other tools for managing anxiety.
