Finding Balance Through the Noise
Imagine with me for a moment that scientists have just discovered a new kind of sea animal that they’ve never seen or studied before. This is mysterious and novel, so it sparks interest from news reporters and other interested parties. Imagine this news reaches you as you are scrolling through your phone one day, and you read the headline, “new breakthroughs in marine biology research”. You keep scrolling. Another headline reads, “changing sea conditions- what does this mean for your beach vacation?”. Soon, another headline threatens, ““alien species found menacing beaches”.
How are our minds like the evening news?
When we read the news there are often many different takes on the same event that is delivered through different agendas, identities and perspectives. When we read the news, we know we need to do so with a critical eye, knowing that there are often biases, things added, and things left out.
What I want to share with you is that we operate internally in kind of the same way. When something happens to or around us, we seldom respond or react to the actual event itself. Instead, we react to an interpretation of the event based on many personal factors.
Your “Inner News Stations”
Have you ever heard someone say, “part of me was angry, but part of me was relieved” or “part of me is ready, but part of me doesn’t want to let go”? There are models of therapy that lean into the idea that we, as people, have many parts to us (such as Gestalt and IFS therapy). These different parts of ourselves can have different feelings, agendas, perspectives and fears. Not unlike the news stations described above, these parts of ourselves can have many different takes on the same exact event.
How do these “Parts” or “Stations” show up?
Have you ever felt an internal conflict, strong mixed feelings or been surprised by a strong reaction you had to something? These are probably your different news stations, or “parts”, giving their report on what is happening. Each of their viewpoints, or “takes” on things are there for a reason and they play an important role, but sometimes they cause issues. Here are a few possible problems:
Sometimes we get caught up in a “station”; we don’t listen with a critical ear, we don’t listen to any other stations, and we take what it says at face value as absolute reality. This could look like assuming the worst of a situation and not taking into account other information or possibilities to the contrary.
Inner “news stations” become extremes on different ends of a spectrum. It’s either all or nothing and you’re caught bouncing between extremes. This could look like bouncing between panic and shutting down completely.
How to cut through the noise
How do we cut through the noise and see the situation with more balance and less conflict or extremes? I made an expressive art tool that I would like to give you for free, to help you do just that. Here is what that entails:
Identify yourself as the viewer, not the news station. Imagine you tune into your thoughts and feelings as if they were stations on tv. You can watch and listen to them, but you don’t have to stay on that channel, and you don’t have to be consumed by everything it says.
Think of a situation in your life right now that is causing a lot of strong emotion, internal conflict or stress.
Check in on what your different stations are reporting. For example, you might have a worst case scenario station that exaggerates the situation and predicts the worst possible outcome. You may have an avoidant station that is only giving surface level reports or not reporting at all. You may have a self-critical station that is picking apart your every word and action. Or an angry channel that rages while delivering it’s report.
Now identify a calm, balanced, factual station. What would the report sound like in the most fair, balanced and objective terms possible?
Try to notice during the week which stations are playing in your mind. Practice listening, but not becoming absorbed in them. See if you can tune in to the balanced station, and remember, you are the viewer, not the station.
