Building Confidence: Encourage Growth in Children
“She just has a natural talent for art”
“Math just isn’t one of his strong points”
“she’s so smart, she doesn’t have to study that hard”
I’d like to ask you a question: do you have more of a fixed mindset or more of a growth mindset?
The truth is, we all have a little of both, but do you find yourself coming from a certain mindset when approaching behaviors and motivation with your children?
All of the quotes you read at the beginning of this post are actually examples of a fixed mindset. Folks with a fixed mindset often view skills, intelligence and ability as something you’re born with; having to work hard and struggle at something is a sign of weakness.
On the other hand, folks with a growth mindset will view skills, intelligence and ability as things that are flexible, and can improve with persistence and effective strategies. Hard work and struggle are viewed as essential to growth.
Kids who have taken on more of a fixed mindset will often show these symptoms:
Resist having to put in effort towards a task
Get very defensive or shut down when receiving feedback
Feel very upset or blame others when things don’t go as hoped
Become discouraged and give up when challenged or faced with responsibility
Appear very upset when other kids win at a game or receive praise
Feel very down on themselves when they make a mistake or
Have a hard time accepting responsibility for mess-ups.
What does this have to do with building confidence and self esteem in kids?
Ultimately what we want is for our kids to:
Believe in themselves and their abilities despite setbacks and challenges.
Gain wisdom from their mistakes
not feel threatened by the success of others
not limit themselves due to fear of failure
Value growth over perfection
Know their value isn’t based on performance
Being intentional about adopting and applying a growth mindset can help move our children in this very direction!
So how do we start instilling more of a growth mindset in our children?
Model it by applying it to yourself. Children will learn from watching you practice this mindset, much more than from you explaining it. Try to really apply the idea to the way you view yourself and your abilities and make changes to the way you talk to/about yourself, especially in front of your child.
The power of “yet”. Think of the difference between “I don’t know how to do that” and “I don’t know how to do that yet”. Help your child open up the realm of possibilities by using this simple 3 letter word!
Read the book, Your Fantastic Elastic Brain by author JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., with your children!
Download my Free Quick-Guide to get the “cliff notes” version of how to go from a fixed-mindset to a growth-mindset with you kids!
Have a look at my resource page for more tools and info: children’s literature, pdf sheets for parents and more!
In what ways do you feel inspired to build a growth mindset in your home?
Hope to hear from you soon,
Olivia
